Wait

So today was blaaaaaaaaaaah. Yeah, uh huh, you know what I'm talking about.  Don't we all have those days?  I think so.

I got home from class today at about 11:30am, and within an hour, everyone had left to go somewhere.  You know what this means...the house was MINE (haha such a powerful feeling).  But instead of doing anything extremely dangerous, naughty, or daring, I sat at my computer and did homework.  *Sigh.*  (Well, that is....I mostly did homework... there were a few moments where I messed around on facebook, wrote emails, listened and loudly sang Les Miserables music, and played around with different hairdos...)  But the rest of the time was homework -- well...except for the time a creepy guy knocked on my front door.  The doorbell rang and I about freaked out.  I ducked behind the door so he couldn't see me, and when he turned around, I ran and grabbed the nearest phone and crouched behind my brother's bedroom window to spy on him.  I had called 911 a few years ago on a guy (who was innocently harmless) who had knocked on our door.  So this time I wasn't about to call anybody unless he literally started to break into the house.  Unfortunately, nothing extremely exciting happened.  It ended up being a guy who was picking up his wife's food order, which gets delivered to our house once a month.  So yeah, my hiding adventure didn't last too long.

So while sitting "doing homework" today, I had a strange and wandering thought drift through my mind.  Valentine's Day just came and went, and everywhere I looked, there were cute signs of love and romance.  And it made me happy.... not necessarily for me, but for life.  I think it's silly how some people don't like Valentine's Day just because they don't have that "special someone" that they're still waiting for.  It reminds them of something they don't have, like they're missing out.  And trust me, I've felt that way before.  I'm human... I'm a girl (believe it or not :P).  But for me, I realized how satisfied I am right now.  I don't desire that kind of relationship yet.  Sure, I'll embrace it when it comes, but I know that right now is not the time.

I was talking to a friend about this last weekend... how God leads different people in different ways.  How the convictions of one person don't mean that they should be your convictions right now as well.  How so many people feel like if someone else is going through something... or if God is having that person experience something, then they should be having that experience too.  And I think that's so true with relationships.  People compare themselves to others, especially when it comes to Valentines Day.  And I realized how that's so wrong.  Our culture tells us that we need something because other's have it, but God tells us to be content with where He has us.  And that was just an amazing thought.  I realized even more how I should be content with where God has me.  And I think I am.  I know God has bigger plans than I could ever imagine or dream, which makes me so excited to be in the place where God has obviously put me.

This year, I am acting in the play Little Women.  I happen to be the main character, Jo March, which is extremely ironic because I've never acted publicly in my life (although I do it at home all the time -- no comments please =]) and because when I was little, my friends, sister and I would act out the story of Little Women, where I would always be cast as Jo.  If you know anything about the story, you'd know that Jo's character is a true tomboy at heart, with high ambitions, a tough outside, and deep inward feelings.  And although I confess that I'm not a tomboy, I often feel like Jo in many areas.

This past Tuesday night during play practice, we went over the proposal scene (hehe which was a funny and slightly awkward experience) but I realized that if anything like that were to happen to me now... that is, if anyone asked me out or showed interest in me, I think I would react the same way Jo does.  She doesn't want to go that deep yet.  She wants to stay friends.  She doesn't see her life going that direction any time soon.  It may happen eventually, but she knows that now is not the time.  And she's ok with that.  There's no disappointment or sadness in being alone.  And I realized that I'm really the same.  Instead, I want to embrace the big plans I have and WAIT.  Wait for the perfect timing... the perfect guy... and the ok from the One who has a bigger Plan.

I often wonder what God is going to do with me.  I often ask Him to tell me what His plan is, but He hasn't quite told me the specifics yet.  However, He has told me some things.  He's told me to grow in Him.  To find love in Jesus.  To follow His commands.  To listen to His voice.  To heed His advice.  To tell others the Good News.  To be an example to the believers.  To multiply in wisdom and faithfulness. 

And He's told me to wait.  He'll reveal his plans in time.