Laughing At

This song has been on my ipod for FOREVER.  It's called Laughing With by Regina Spektor.  Once it's in your head, it's hard to get out.  In fact, it's gotten to the point where Jenn will be like "Stop humming that song!"  Recently I had to write a paper on a song of my choice for my English class.  At first, I thought, "How am I going to choose a song out of ALL the songs there are?"  So I got out my ipod and started shuffling, and this is the one I ended up choosing. 

To be honest, I'd never really thought about the lyrics before, and when I finally did, I was sort of confused.  In the verses of the song, she sings about how people don’t laugh at God in the midst of their troubles.  She gives different examples of hardships, like, “No one laughs at God in a hospital, No one laughs at God in a war, No one’s laughing at God, When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor.”

In the chorus, she tells about how God can be "funny" or is "made fun of" when people are happy or doing okay.  She sings, “God can be funny, At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or, When the crazies say he hates us, and they get so red in the head, you think that they’re about to choke. God can be funny, When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way, And when presented like a genie, Who does magic like Houdini, or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus.”

In essence, the song is about hypocrisy.  Why do people mock the thought of God when they feel like they don’t need Him, and then pray to God desperately for help when things get out of control?  Regina asks her listeners a question... Do you really believe God is out there?  If you do, then act like it all the time and don't mock the existence of God when you "feel like don't need Him."  If you don’t, then why don't think about God when tragedy strikes?  If He doesn't exist when life is good, then He won't exist when life is bad.  In essense, I think the song tells us to either take God seriously or give up the idea of God altogether.

At the end of the song, it says, “No one’s laughing at God, We’re all laughing with God.”  This struck me, and it gives the song a whole new meaning. The song is called Laughing With because of the last line.  But I think the song should be more appropriately called Laughing At.  I also thought it was interesting how the name God is mentioned over thirty times throughout the song, but the word God is not in the title.  Maybe no one would have listened to a song titled Laughing At God, but in truth, that exactly what this song is about.

But what does Regina mean by laughing with God?  Laugh because we know everything will turn out okay?  Laugh because the world is going to end someday and nothing on earth will "really matter?"  Laugh because once we die, we're DEAD, and there's nothing really we need to live for?  It's almost like God's just up there laughing at our short, petty little lives, and then we all realize it's all just a big joke.  For me, this last line is the most puzzling and thought provoking part of the song.  What is Regina trying to say?

I think there are many ways to interpret the ending of the song, but this is how I look at it.  We'll laugh with God is heaven.  We'll laugh when we see our sorrows turned into joys.  We'll laugh when we hear music instead of crying.  We'll laugh when we see good come out of bad.  That's when true happiness will come -- not when we think we have life figured out and not when we think we're okay on our own -- when we realize that God had it all planned out the whole time.

Listen. 

Wait

So today was blaaaaaaaaaaah. Yeah, uh huh, you know what I'm talking about.  Don't we all have those days?  I think so.

I got home from class today at about 11:30am, and within an hour, everyone had left to go somewhere.  You know what this means...the house was MINE (haha such a powerful feeling).  But instead of doing anything extremely dangerous, naughty, or daring, I sat at my computer and did homework.  *Sigh.*  (Well, that is....I mostly did homework... there were a few moments where I messed around on facebook, wrote emails, listened and loudly sang Les Miserables music, and played around with different hairdos...)  But the rest of the time was homework -- well...except for the time a creepy guy knocked on my front door.  The doorbell rang and I about freaked out.  I ducked behind the door so he couldn't see me, and when he turned around, I ran and grabbed the nearest phone and crouched behind my brother's bedroom window to spy on him.  I had called 911 a few years ago on a guy (who was innocently harmless) who had knocked on our door.  So this time I wasn't about to call anybody unless he literally started to break into the house.  Unfortunately, nothing extremely exciting happened.  It ended up being a guy who was picking up his wife's food order, which gets delivered to our house once a month.  So yeah, my hiding adventure didn't last too long.

So while sitting "doing homework" today, I had a strange and wandering thought drift through my mind.  Valentine's Day just came and went, and everywhere I looked, there were cute signs of love and romance.  And it made me happy.... not necessarily for me, but for life.  I think it's silly how some people don't like Valentine's Day just because they don't have that "special someone" that they're still waiting for.  It reminds them of something they don't have, like they're missing out.  And trust me, I've felt that way before.  I'm human... I'm a girl (believe it or not :P).  But for me, I realized how satisfied I am right now.  I don't desire that kind of relationship yet.  Sure, I'll embrace it when it comes, but I know that right now is not the time.

I was talking to a friend about this last weekend... how God leads different people in different ways.  How the convictions of one person don't mean that they should be your convictions right now as well.  How so many people feel like if someone else is going through something... or if God is having that person experience something, then they should be having that experience too.  And I think that's so true with relationships.  People compare themselves to others, especially when it comes to Valentines Day.  And I realized how that's so wrong.  Our culture tells us that we need something because other's have it, but God tells us to be content with where He has us.  And that was just an amazing thought.  I realized even more how I should be content with where God has me.  And I think I am.  I know God has bigger plans than I could ever imagine or dream, which makes me so excited to be in the place where God has obviously put me.

This year, I am acting in the play Little Women.  I happen to be the main character, Jo March, which is extremely ironic because I've never acted publicly in my life (although I do it at home all the time -- no comments please =]) and because when I was little, my friends, sister and I would act out the story of Little Women, where I would always be cast as Jo.  If you know anything about the story, you'd know that Jo's character is a true tomboy at heart, with high ambitions, a tough outside, and deep inward feelings.  And although I confess that I'm not a tomboy, I often feel like Jo in many areas.

This past Tuesday night during play practice, we went over the proposal scene (hehe which was a funny and slightly awkward experience) but I realized that if anything like that were to happen to me now... that is, if anyone asked me out or showed interest in me, I think I would react the same way Jo does.  She doesn't want to go that deep yet.  She wants to stay friends.  She doesn't see her life going that direction any time soon.  It may happen eventually, but she knows that now is not the time.  And she's ok with that.  There's no disappointment or sadness in being alone.  And I realized that I'm really the same.  Instead, I want to embrace the big plans I have and WAIT.  Wait for the perfect timing... the perfect guy... and the ok from the One who has a bigger Plan.

I often wonder what God is going to do with me.  I often ask Him to tell me what His plan is, but He hasn't quite told me the specifics yet.  However, He has told me some things.  He's told me to grow in Him.  To find love in Jesus.  To follow His commands.  To listen to His voice.  To heed His advice.  To tell others the Good News.  To be an example to the believers.  To multiply in wisdom and faithfulness. 

And He's told me to wait.  He'll reveal his plans in time.