How Deep, How Wide

This week has been crazy insane.

I been pushing it a lot lately, and I think I've been getting a little worn out.  Last week started out with a tiny cold, but I refused in the name of Jesus to get sick.  And even though this week has been extremely busy and stressful, I've really felt the need to rely on God for strength.  I've realized that I tend to be extremely self-reliant.  I think I have things under control, and I can handle it.  I get easily impatient, so I take matters into my own hands instead of waiting on God.  But this week, I've had to ask Him to get me through.

Between college classes, dance, play rehearsals, family, homework, errands, work, friends, and life in general, life definitely keeps me running with having a fixed schedule and mounds of deadlines.  I hardly get one morning to sleep in all week... not that I'm complaining... trust me, I am more than blessed.  But this past week has been tough -- spiritually, physically, and mentally.  I'm ready for a break.  A looong break.  A revival. 

So what better time for a revival then today, Good Friday?  Unfortunately, I feel like I've hardly spent a minute with God except to pray quickly for the things I want.  Sure I've thought about God, I've talked to Him, but somehow I'm longing for more.  I want to give up everything I just simply think about HIM -- without a million other deadlines, plans, and worries running through my head. 

But God is faithful. 

"But [the LORD] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Wow.  Just wow.

So those times when you feel like you can't take a breath, the times when you want to cry but don't have the tears, the times when you want to sing but no song will come, the times when you sit but still feel like your standing, the times when you sleep but still feel awake... those are times when God's grace is sufficient for me.  I don't have to be strong.  Because He already is.

Knowing this gives me peace.  Peace for the present, and peace for the future.  These past couple days have been hectic in trying to make plans for the summer and beyond.  There are so many opportunities, and so little time to do it all.  But it comforts me to know that God knows.  He knows.  He wants what is best for me, even if I seem to disagree.  And I'm going to trust in His plan.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Thank you Jesus.

My church sang this song a couple weeks ago, and it says a lot of what I want to say.